Q: How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS medicine?
A: It's the one with bite marks on the cap.
What Floor Please?
A woman walks into the local pharmacy and asks to find sanitary napkins.The pharmacist replies, "We have mini-pads and maxi-pads, which do you prefer? "The woman asks, "What's the difference?" The pharmacist replies, "It depends on what your flow is like!" Woman replies, "My flo? My flo is linoleum!"
Problems and Male Gender
Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids...
PMS in the Bible
The minister was presenting his Sunday morning service to the congregation. He stated that everything that mankind had experienced or would ever experience was discussed or mentioned in the Bible.
After the sermon, he was shaking hands with the congregation as they filed out of the church. A woman came up to the minister and said, "Preacher, I heard your message today and I really believe that what you said is true. However in my readings of the Scripture, I have never seen any mention of PMS."
The minister scratched his head... thought for a moment and said, "Well sister just off the top of my head I cannot think of a passage but I'm sure that it exists. See me after next week's service and I will give you an answer."
The next Sunday as the preacher was again shaking the hands of the leaving congregation the woman again came up to him and asked if he had in fact gotten her an answer.
The preacher said, "Yes, my dear, that passage does in fact exist." She said, "Well please tell me where PMS is mentioned in the Bible. I've read it many, many times and I have never seen it mentioned at all."
Preacher says, "Its right in the book of Matthew." She said, "No way, I've read that several times and its not mentioned at all!"
He said, "It certaintly is, if you remember in the Christmas story, it states very specifically... that Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!"
PMS and the Bible?
One day a woman went to her pastor and asked, "Pastor there are some things in life that aren't addressed in the Bible; how are we supposed to deal with them? The Pastor responded, "There are no such things, give me an example of what you are talking about". The woman responded, "PMS is not in the Bible". So the Pastor thought and told the woman to call back in the morning and he would have the answer. The woman called the next morning and asked if the Pastor had an answer about PMS in the Bible. The Pastor replied, "Yes, it's the part where Mary rides Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!".