Disease / Afflictions Jokes - Coronavirus Jokes
A Newsom Promise
Worried about getting recalled, Gavin Newsom tries to improve his image by visiting a remote northern Indian reservation.
With his paid-for news crews following him around as they tour the place, he asks the chief if there was anything they need.
"Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs.
First, we have a medical clinic but no doctor to man it."
Newsom whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes, and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days with enough Covid vaccine for all of your people.
Now, what was the second problem?"
"We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for thousands of years. We've been trucking bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive."
Once again, the Newsom dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owners will pay for a purification plant for your people.
Now, what was that third problem?"
The chief looks at him and says, "We have no cellphone reception up here!"
Post Covid Vibe
Q: What did the girl say on her way to the singles vacation?
A: Vaxed and Waxed baby, I'm ready for some action on this trip!
Q: What goes best with coronavirus?
A: Lyme disease.
Q: Any news on how Trump is dealing with Covid?
A: Yes! Doctors say he is in hypocritical condition at Walter Reed Hospital.