Blonde Lipstick Usage
I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind!
Death in the Family
A brunette walks over to her blonde friend's home and finds her crying. "What happened? Why are you crying?" The blonde tells her that her mother has passed away. The neighbor makes her some coffee, comforts her, and then leaves. The next day the neighbor goes back over to the house and finds the blonde crying again. Once again, she asks her why she was crying? This time the blonde replies hysterically, "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk. "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk. "Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth," the blonde replies.
Blonde - Cop
A blonde policewoman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts." The policewoman replied, "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
Blonde - Brain For Sale
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplants asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain here belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. And here we have a blonde's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."