Death of Energizer Bunny
The world was stunned by the news, this morning, of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred at approximately8:42PM last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going and going and going, "Pinkie" as he was known to his friends and relatives, was alone at the time of his death. An autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief Medical Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone had put Mr. Bunny's batteries in backwards, and he kept coming, and coming and coming.....
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on him.
A: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: Tame way, unique up on him.
Q: Where do rabbits buy their clothes?
A: At the hopping mall.
The Great Rabbit Escape
A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he thought.
It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it, he saw a wonderful sight: lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass. "Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked.
"Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."
This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?"
"You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well."
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked.
One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly."There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there," he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girls. We shag them. Go and try it."
Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning shagging his little heart out until, completely spent, he staggered back over to the guys. "That was fantastic," he panted.
"So are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked.
"I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't."
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here."
"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette!"
The Other Side
Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit and on the other side lived the bear. One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfast of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit. "Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!". "Not now! I'm eating.", Said the bear. "Oh come on!", said the rabbit. "It's really important". "No way.", replied the bear. "Please. It's urgent." So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when he finally got there he was groaning and panting, and wheezing for air. "Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?" "Hey, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the river."