Jump Two Feet
Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers. The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. "Nah," says Johnny, "what else do you have?" "Well," the chemist replies, "the only other kind that I have are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know what these will do to a woman?" Little Johnny says, "No... but they'll make a goat jump about two feet off of the ground!"
Little Johnny's teacher asked him, "Johnny, give me a sentence using the words, "bitter end" in it. Little Johnny thought for a moment and replies, "Our dog chased our cat and he bitter end."
Q: What does a teddy bear say when you offer it a sandwich?
A: "No thanks, I'm stuffed"
Q: Where do frogs keep their money?
A: In a river bank!
Q: What did the turkey do in the Thanksgiving Day Parade?
A: He played his drumsticks!