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The best jokes and joke writers!

iSwat

I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century, old man," he said. "We don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad."

I can tell you, that fly never knew what hit it…

Parrot and Centipede

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?

A: A great walkie-talkie!

Bee Jokes

Q: What does a bee get at McDonalds?

A: A humburger!

 

Q: What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?

A: A bee in a submarine!

 

Q: What's more dangerous than being with a fool?

A: Fooling with a bee!

 

Q: What did the spider say to the bee?

A: Your honey or your life!

 

Q: Who is a bee's favorite painter?

A: Pablo Beecasso!

 

Q: What did the bee to the other bee in summer?

A: Swarm here isn't it!

 

Q: What is a bee's favorite classical music composer?

A: Bee-thoven!

 

Q: Who writes books for little bees?

A: Bee-trix Potter!

 

Q: Where do bees go on holiday?

A: Stingapore!

 

Q: What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him?

A: He's bee-witched!

Flea Bite

Q: How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

A: Start from scratch!

Ding Dong Bee

Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?

A: A hum dinger!