Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!
Five Inch Drop
A fly flies back and forth over a river repeatedly, dropping five inches each time. A fish sees it and decides it will jump and catch it when it drops. A bear sees the fish and decides it will get the fish when it jumps. A hunter with a cheese sandwich in his pocket sees the bear and waits for it to go for the fish to shoot it. A mouse sees the cheese sandwich and decides to wait for the hunter to shoot so that the sandwich will fall and he can get it. A cat sees the mouse and decides to wait for it to go for the sandwich to jump and catch it. So, the fly drops, the fish jumps, the bear goes for it, the hunter shoots, the sandwich falls, the mouse goes for it, and the cat jumps, but he misses and goes into the water.
The moral of the story: when the fly drops five inches, the pussy gets wet.
Knock Knock - Ants
Ants in your pants!
Q: What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter Bunny?
A: Bugs Bunny.
Ants and Math
Q: What kind of ant is good at math?
A: An accountant!