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The best jokes and joke writers!

Elephant To The Rescue

This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into a pit and is stuck there. The elephant is stuck in this pit and realizes that he is going to die, so naturally he start to scream. By chance a chicken hears the screaming of the elephant and decides to investigate. He sees the elephant stuck in the pit and shouts to the elephant: "Don't worry, I am going to save you". The chicken then calls on the King of the Jungle. The King of the Jungle promptly arrives in his Red Porsche. He throws a rope from the Porsche into the pit, the elephant ties it around himself and the King of the Jungle pulls him out of the pit. The elephant is saved (loud applause). So grateful is the elephant to the chicken that he promises him that he will one day do the same for him (if the chicken should ever be in mortal danger).  As chance would have it, the next week the elephant is walking through the jungle and hears the screaming of a chicken. He wanders over and sees that his friend the chicken is stuck in a pit. Oohh, Gosh! The elephant shouts "Don't worry chicken I will save you". So the elephant throws his tail into the pit. However his tail is too small and the chicken cannot reach it. Undeterred by this, the elephant throws in his trunk, but, alas this also is too small. As a last desperate effort the elephant throws in his his penis. Sucess! The chicken grabs the elephants enormous penis and climbs out to safety. Moral of the story: "If you have a big dick you don't need a red Porsche to pull a chick."

Be Sure and Pack

Q: What animals were last to leave the ark?

A: The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!

Agile Elephant

Q: Why did the elephant put skates on before he went to bed?

A: Because he wanted to get rolling in the morning. 

That Long Thing on the Elephant

A couple took their young son to the circus and when the elephants appeared, the boy seemed very intrigued by them. "Mommy, what's that long thing on the elephant?" he asked. "That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied. "No, not that. What's that long thing that's hanging between the elephant's legs?" asked the boy. Embarrassed, the mother replied, "Oh, it's nothing, son." She then left to get some hot dogs and sodas. While she was gone, the young boy turned to his father and asked, "Daddy, what's that long thing hanging between the elephant's legs?" "That's the elephant's penis, son," explained the father. "Well, why did mommy say it was nothing when I asked her?" the boy asked. Taking a deep breath, the father proudly replied, "I've spoiled that woman, son!"

Ride the Horse

Q: You're riding a horse at full speed. A giraffe is beside you, an elephant in front of you, and a lion behind you! What do you do?

A: You get off the carousel!