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The best jokes and joke writers!

Smitty the Parrot's Birthday

Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?"

Smitty says, "I want to get laid."

So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.  

After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so he runs upstairs and into the room.  There's Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking out her colorful feathers.

"Harry, says Smitty, what the hell are you doing?"

Smitty says, "For a hundred bucks I want her nude!"

King of the Jungle

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best.

The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had hardly a chance.

The second,a lion, based his claim on his strength. No animal in the forest dared to challenge him.

The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any animal using his unique arsenal.

As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion, and stinker!

Mama Bird

Q: What did the mama bird say to the baby bird when she was tucking the baby bird into bed.

A: Tweet tight

Vulture and Lawyer

Q: What is the difference between a vulture and a lawyer?

A: The vulture eventually lets go.

Penguin In A Bar

A penguin goes into a bar and says to the barman "have you seen my brother?"... and the barman says "I don't know, what does he look like?"