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The best jokes and joke writers!

A Man is Diagnosed with HAGS

A man goes into the doctor's office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says "I have some bad news. You have HAGS."  "What is HAGS," the man asks. "It's Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis" says the doctor.  "Oh my God!" says the man, "what are you going to do!?!"  "We are going to put you in an isolated room and feed you pancakes and pizza."  "Is that going to help me?" asks the man. "No," says the doctor, "but it's the only food we can think of that we can slide under the door!"

A Real Loser

Q: What's the definition of a real loser?

A: A guy who has a wet dream and gets HIV.

New HIV Statistics

Q: What is the probability that a man will catch HIV?

A: One in every two and a half men.

Gynecologist Patient Comprehension Exam

This chick walks into a doctor's office. The nurse tells her to take off her clothes, and that the doctor will be with her in a minute. She obeys.

The doctor walks in and takes off his coat. He begins to feel between her thighs.
Doctor: "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
Woman: "You're checking for menopause."
Doctor: "Very good."

Then, he starts to feel her tits.
Doctor: "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
Woman: "Checking for breast cancer."
Doctor: "Very good."

Then, he jumps on her and penetrates her.
Doctor: "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
Woman: "Contracting genital herpes. That's why I came to see you!"

Meaner Than a Pitbull

Q:  What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?

A: The guy who gave it to him.