Two Caged Canaries
Once upon a time there were two canaries in a cage. Naturally, one was male and the other female. After many months, the male decided to meet the female. So he scooted over to her side of the cage and said, "Since we're in this together, why don't I move over to your side of the cage!" The female canary replied, "No, thanks!!" So he went back to his side but found he could stay there no longer. Once again, he moved to her side of the cage. This time he asked, "I am sorry I was to forward the first time. Why don't we get to know each other first." To which she replied again, "No, thanks!" Resigning himself to return to his side of the cage, he languished about for a bit then made one final effort. He went halfway across the cage and stated, "Well, could we at least talk?" This time she replied, "Oh, I am so sorry I have been so mean. You see I just learned I have a canarial disease called, "Chirpies' and I hear it is untweetable."
Q: How does herpes leave the hospital?
A: On crotches.
Q: Two little potatoes stand on the street corner. One is a prostitute. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?
A: It's the one with the little sticker that reads: "I-DA-HO." Also, she has herpes sores on her lips.
Yo Mama - Red Lobster
Yo' Mama is so nasty, Red Lobster kicked her out for bringing her own crabs.
Charlie and Taylor
Q: What do Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen have in common?
A: Bad blood.