Q: What do you get from too much phone sex?
A: Hearing aids.
Man With No Arms.
One day, a man with no arms walked into the bathroom. Another man that was in there, asked, "I don't mean to be rude sir, but how to you go to the bathroom with no arms?" The guys with no arms replied, "Well I need a little help, could you unzip my pants?" The other guys reluctantly says, "sure." The guy with no arms says, "I need a little more help than that, I need some aim. Would you mind?" The guy, very reluctant to do it this time said, "Sure, I guess." When the guy pulled out the mans penis, there was red pustules and blisters and hair all over it. The man preceded to help the man out. When the man with no arms was finished. The other man asked him, "I don't mean to be rude, but what was all over your penis?" The man then replied, as he pulled his arms out his shirt, "I don't know but I sure as hell ain't touching it!"
Love and Herpes
Q: What the difference between true love and herpes?
A: Herpes lasts forever
Yo Mama - Red Lobster
Yo mama has more crabs than Red Lobster.
Green and Yellow
Q: What's green and yellow and eats nuts?