Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner
Silent but Deadly
An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"
Mix Beans and Onions
Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions?
A: Tear gas.
Gay Men's Shower
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, ''I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!!'' Paul looks at the wall and says ''What are you talking about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!!!"
A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup gets to her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose a bombastic fart. Trying to save face, she says to the waiter: "Sir! Please stop that immediately." "Certainly, madame," replies the waiter with a bow, "which way was it headed?"