The Lactose Intolerant Society have asked me to come up with a few puns for their new information brochure.
They don't want anything cheesy though.
A hitchhiker walks down the road. Unfortunately, he has the runs and has to stop every 15 minutes. A truck driver stops and offers a ride, but warns him that he won't stop for anything. About 10 minutes on the road, the hitchhiker begs the truck driver to stop, and the driver tells him, "Stick your butt out the window if you have to go so bad." The hitchhiker sticks his butt out the window and lets loose. Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the two guys walking on the roadside. Sprayed with feces, the first guy wipes his face and says, "What are them truckers chewing these days?" The second guy wipes his face and says, "I don't know, but did you see the lips on that guy?"
Billy Mays Poop
Q: What's it like to take a Billy Mays poop?
A: You think it's over, but wait, there's more.
Q: Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
A: Yup, it runs in your genes!
Elephant With Diarrhea
Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
A: Lots of room.